shades of guilt

I guess all kids ask a lot of questions, but not all parents have enough energy to answer them properly. I was lucky that my parents had it. All my "whys" got proper answers about actual causes. Here is the cause of that good event. Here is the cause of that bad event. You don't need to have a logic of a grown-up to realise: if not for that cause, the bad thing would not have happened. And the next logical thing to see is that many of the troubles people have are caused by people themselves. They just needed to do everything right, and then they would not have had these troubles.

Luckily I haven't got into a common pitfall "it's victim's fault", after all the real culprit is clearly visible. However I couldn't avoid blaming the unlucky ones. The basic example here is being overweight. You can stop being fat just by eating less. You make so many spelling mistakes because you are overall stupid. I almost started thinking "it's you fault that you are poor" but somehow I didn't.

Some people don't know the good from the bad because they have only seen bad and consider it the norm. Some people don't know what to do (and what not to do) to achieve the good result. Some don't get enough practice. Some are just sick.

In the end I try to think less about fault. What's the point, after all we do not need to punish. What we usually need is to find how we can fix the situation, and what is the quickest/best/most effective/most reliable way to do that. And if someone is looking for a person to blame, I somehow started seeing this as an agression.

Артемий Трегубенко,

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